On the eighth night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you...

Hanukkah has ended. It's over for another year.

One last gift that was not given.

This:

Emergency underpants.

These are emergency underpants. For adults. The website says 

"Users report needing Emergency Underpants before a big job interview, after a particularly scary haunted house and during a One Direction concert. Fits most adults."

These emergency underpants come in their own pop-up dispenser. 

Why not get these for you? 

1. Handerpants, emergency underpants in a pop-up too-much-like-facial-tissue dispenser- too many possibilities for confusion. Blow your nose in Emergency Underpants? Try pulling your Handerpants over your ankle? No.

2. I cannot imagine a Haunted House that would scare you. Really. And even then, would you have your Emergency Underpants dispenser box with you?

3. I don't foresee you attending a One Direction concert anytime soon. Or needing a pop-up pair of pants if you did.*

That's the group of ungifts for this year! If you have anything you would particularly like to not be given, by all means drop me a line. 

*If I am wrong about the One Direction thing, please let me know. I'll see what I can do about ordering the single-size Emergency Undies: