last day

This is the last day of a challenging year.

And, I think that I said something close to the above statement about a year ago.

The past few years have been action packed and had great moments of joy (30th anniversary! trip with adult children!) and achievement (earned my PhD! Taught some awesome classes!).

The past few years have also had an astonishing number of challenges- health challenges and decisions to those close to me, some of my own. Some of these are private; I'm just saying, they happened/are happening.

And there were some losses. Some big losses.

My mom was doing major care-giving for her partner Doc P and for her aunt, my great-aunt, Ree. Ree died in 2006. Doc died in 2008.

In 2007 we learned that my dear friend R had colon cancer. I made soup and then made soup and felt helpless while our friend, his wife K battled that long year with him. He died in 2008.

In 2009, I was able to tell my mother-in-law that I had successfully defended my dissertation. She wasn't able to respond, because she had a massive stroke months before and she died a few weeks after that dissertation defense.

In March of 2010, a few weeks after celebrating 5 years of being cancer free, my mom had a heart attack and almost died- reacting to the dye in the catheterization process.

In October of 2010, my daughter survived a terrible car accident. This is a GOOD thing- the surviving. The accident- life-changing, major stress for all of us.

In March of 2011, my mom had spinal fusion surgery on 4 of her vertebrae in her lower back. The surgeon didn't accomplish all he wanted to, so another surgery in May on the same vertebrae, this time coming in through the abdomen. Then in July, Mom landed back in the hospital with a pulmonary embolism. Apparently this was fortuitous, as she met again Dr. C, for whom she had once worked, and he was randomly assigned as her internist at the hospital. He discovered she had a blood disorder which makes her prone to clotting.

And the REALLY good news is that she followed up with him about the tingling in her fingers which progressed to dropping everything and suddenly losing the ability to walk without falling. Dr. C was like Sherlock Holmes, determined to find out what was going on- AND listened to her when she said something was wrong, and after an initial prediction of MS, he had an MRI done then rushed her to the hospital because it wasn't MS, but stenosis on the cervical spine which would have likely led to paralysis if my mom had fallen ONE MORE TIME.

So in September, Mom had neurosurgery AGAIN on her cervical spine- 4 of the 7 vertebrae in her neck were fused and stabilized. The recovery has been/is long- but it *is* a recovery.

I was mourning the loss of my teaching at university job- but it turns out that I was needed to care for my mom, full time, 24/7 essentially all of September and October. Her recovery continues- and now I have accepted offers to teach two classes this upcoming semester!

SO perhaps things are turning around. Let's hope so.

I'm ready for some really good years!

Unseen Powers are Capricious

I have issues with electricity and magnetic forces- sometimes my PEMF* causes failures for these powers, and sometimes these powers fail me.

Like today.

* This is me, editing a month later. I really cannot remember to what this refers.

I am actually looking at some of my old wrist watches and wondering if I might try them again. Especially as our new cable box with the new TV does not show the time. How obsessed with time are we, that I find it too inconvenient to get off my ass and MOVE to where I can see a clock- or pick up my cell phone and check the time?

some days

I don't know why, but some days everything comes together, and it all goes well and life is good and one even has a chance to appreciate it.

And some days, it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

I don't know why that happens, either.

And some days, like today, there are a thousand little things to lift you up, and also a thousand little things that drag you down.

Like today.

And even though the scales should balance, for some reason the sad and frustrating thousand seem to have more weight.

And it's hard to breathe.

technology is a beautiful thing... and can make you crazy

My mom, because she is wonderful, and because she loves us, and because she is appreciative of the our care-giving for her- because of all these things, she bought my Dear Husband K and me a wonderful, HD, Internet, all-the-bells-and-whistles TV.

So, while favorite youngest son A was visiting for Thanksgiving, he took a few hours to set it up.

And it was great. Frustrating- for him- because setting up the Internet required our wireless key which is 63 nonsense characters long and completely random. Fortunately, I have saved this key on a flash drive.

Unfortunately, the TV does not have a USB port for the flash drive to make the connection!

After trial and error, A had dh K plug in the flash drive in the laptop, change the font on the key until it was readable (you could tell a zero from an "o" and note the difference between "l" and "1") and typed it in- all 63 nonsensical letters and numerals.

And it was good. But we weren't using all the capabilities, because we had an old cable box, not a new, HD capable cable box. So we called the cable company and they sent a new cable box.

Which we were to install ourselves, AFTER our tech-savvy children had left town/the state.

OK.

At this point I should mention that prior to my mom moving in, we had called said cable company and they had installed a receiver/station in the bedroom Mom would have and I had brought her TV over from her house, so that when she moved in, she had her own private TV.

This is also a good point to mention that while we were waiting to get up the courage to install the new cable box, we received our holiday gift from son A: UPS delivered a brand new Blu-Ray DVD player!

So, here we are with a new TV with unused potential, and two new cardboard boxes each holding items which should help us realize this potential.

We gathered our courage in our hands, filled our wine glasses, and also unpacked the boxes.

My mom, watching dh K and I unpack boxes and set up instructions, murmured something along the lines of how brave we were to do this by ourselves- together. I think she was more than a little concerned this was a certain recipe for divorce.

"I'll just mention one thing," she said. "Maybe you don't want to have anymore wine until you figure out how difficult this will be."

Then she went and hid in her bedroom with her TV.

We had a few adventures with set up. We mostly did alright. Finally, we are getting it all set up and I decide that we need another HDMI cable.

K is not sure we need one.

I am pretty sure we do.

So, after some hemming and hawing, K agrees that we can always return the cable if we don't need it, and I go off to the local Kmart and buy a cable.

(While I am gone, my mom comes out, notices that I am not there, and asks with some alarm where I have gone. K says I went out- Mom says, oh, no, did it get bad? - thinking we had come to some horrible parting of the ways over the set up- No, K says, she thinks we need the HDMI cable and she went to the store. Oh, my mom said, and went back to her room.)

And, with the cable, YES, everything is hooked up, and in the proper order. All the lights flash appropriately. I go online to activate the new box, and complete the instructions and hit the final button.

And we have no video signal.

*sigh*

I KNOW I have made all the correct connections.

So dh K is called on for his specialty: dealing with people and corporate entities over the phone. So he calls the cable company, and after they treat us like idiots (Have you checked to make sure you turned on the TV? Check to make sure the cable box is plugged in...), they check on THEIR end and discover....

OOPS. We forgot to program your box. Hang on. We'll do that now.

So they do, and while they are doing that, my mom mentions that we should remind them that she does not get all the channels in her bedroom that we get on the main TV, which she should, which is part of our package. So dh K throws that into the mix, and again after asking questions that suggest we are morons, they go, OH, we need to send you a different cable box for that room.

OK.

So, a few days later a new cable box arrives for my mom's room. Once again, I unpack the box, review the directions, follow directions, connect all appropriate cables, activate the box online and then...

Nothing. No TV happening in Mom's room at all.

So I try a few other things- and the main TV stops working.

So we call on dh K again- and he calls the cable company, and after asking the requisite are-you-a-bunch-of-idiots questions, the cable company check a few things and go...

OH. I guess we sent you a bad remote. We'll send you a new one.

So, they fix things on their end so that we have TV working in both locations, although Mom still doesn't have all her TV's capabilities until she gets the new remote (at which time I will install it correctly, then without a doubt call in dh K to call the cable company so that they can fix / program the new remote).

HOWEVER- the High Definition really is wonderful. And today, we checked out the Blu-Ray, also wonderful, and have played with some of the Internet TV's apps- and we have Internet radio programmed and playing now! Pretty cool.

And, although it did sort of make us go a little frustration-crazy, we were able to correctly install everything ourselves!

not Santa

Today is one of those days that I would really like to unzip the fat suit I seem to be wearing these years and step out of it as my real self.

new language revisted

You may recall that I am collecting non-words for a new language. I now have 5 pages of new non-words!

However there are a number of words that are not underlined as red as non-words.

One is seuss. I guess the good doctor has made it into the language.

I guess krowst is close enough to krowster - another name of fame- although here, in blogger, both seuss and krowst are underlined in red for WRONG.

A mystery.

And here I thought I was going to enlarge my vocabulary.