I was almost run down by a car.

I was almost hit by a car yesterday. Here is how it happened:

I am currently residing in Chicago while I direct a fabulous play. I am staying with my Favorite Youngest Son, AJ. After a nice lunch at an Ethiopian restaurant with Favorite Youngest Son AJ, we were walking back to his apartment. We were crossing the street ON THE CROSS WALK. We were observing the traffic signals and only crossing WITH OUR WALKING MAN SIGNAL. A man felt it was okay to chat with his girlfriend-- making all important eye contact with her instead of the road-- while he made his left turn.

Almost into me.

Son AJ shouted.

I screamed.

Thank heaven, the shout or the scream caused idiot-driver-lover-boy to slam on the brakes.

The bumper of his car was less than an inch from my knees.

That was my cardio for the day.

Then, I went off to rehearsal and then returned to find SOMEONE PARKED IN MY BOUGHT-AND-PAID-FOR PARKING SPACE.

I was ALL CAPS UNHAPPY.

I am heading out this morning to right the above mentioned wrong.

And go to rehearsal.

family stories

It's freshman year in a very liberal, progressive college and my son is taking a course that teaches about Shakespeare.

The professor says: many of you may not realize that to "die" in Shakespeare's time had another meaning.

My son's hand goes up.

The professor: Yes?

My son: I know what it also means.

The professor (indulgent): Oh, you do?

My son: Yes. It means to experience sexual climax.

The professor (surprised): Why yes it does! Where did you learn that?

My son: From my mommy.

(I feel certain he didn't say "mommy" but it is much funnier that way.)