Wednesday, July 20, 2011

not a good day

It's not a good day. It is hot, too hot, and I don't have enough air conditioning.

My last gig with my troupe is not going well. Yes, I know that it is the traditional time for it all to suck, but I am deeply depressed by the missing actors, the actors missing- lines and cues; the social club atmosphere.

I am tired of parenting and pseudo-parenting teens.

This is the second day in a row I've had to go into bitch mode, and I don't like it, and I don't like me in that mode.

I'm tired of being fat, but it's too hot to move.

I am wrapping up this, my great creation, my artistic directorship, with so much layered on of what I am doing for others and little for myself.

And I am having a major attack of poor-poor-me weepiness. If I'm so smart, why aren't I rich? Or famous?

I know I am blessed and should count my blessings. But lately I feel like a big smelly heap of fast-fading unrealized potential.

4 comments:

Megan said...

I'm sorry it wasn't a good day today. Maybe all this yuck stuff is to serve as a contrast to the glittering future that awaits you as you cast off the circumstances that are producing the yuck.

In the meantime, I hope the heatwave breaks, and the actors learn their $#%& lines, and something good happens.

dramamama said...

Thanks, Megan. On the upside, this horrible heat (and, perhaps, my horrible mood) have finally helped Ken make the decision: we are getting central air next week!

Megan said...

Yay, air conditioning! Mine came today, and already I feel better!

Beth said...

A/C makes a big difference. Take it from the girl living in the fiery pits of Hell. Sorry, I mean Mississippi - I understand Hell has less humidity...

Sorry it's a rough week. I hear you. But theater magic will propel and save you with the wrapping of this show, and then THE NEXT ADVENTURES AWAIT. And you'll be ready to meet them, armed with a new made-up language! ;-)