Interventions, inventions, preventions

I and my dh Ken are doing an intervention of sorts. My aunt, and her daughter my cousin, are parenting my cousin's two kids. The kids are now teens, both my aunt and my cousin are older, working, and majorly depressed.

Not a recipe for anything good.

The older, my cousin's daughter, is a particular challenge. She loudly announces her intense hatred of her brother. She doesn't do homework or housework. She sasses back. The dynamic in the house has been untenable for all concerned.

She claims she wants to be a star, but has done no classes, plays or taken any steps toward the goal. She just watches tv, plays on the computer, and sleeps in.

This summer is my last production with my teen theatre troupe. So, after various conversations, we offered and it was accepted that my cousin's daughter, KL, would spend most of the summer with us, at "Aunt Lisa's summer theatre camp."

So here she is .

The first two weeks, I was "awesome". I was taking her to meet cool new people in my theatre troupe. I was cooking great meals and teaching her to cook and taking her out to dinner.

The first two weeks she didn't have a computer, so she had- limited- opportunities borrowing my laptop.

Now we are four weeks in, and I'm not quite so awesome. Foolishly, if you ask me, her mom sent the family laptop with her. So, when not at rehearsal- or sleeping till noon- she is on her laptop or texting.

I don't take it personally; she's not my kid.

I've had one run-in with her when I pointed out things won't go her way if she isn't a helpful part of the equation (more on that later).

The prompt for this post, though, is this: she is constantly texting. I find it rude, and possibly dangerous- who knows who she is texting? But, she is fifteen, and this is something allowed by her parents/grandparent- who am I to intervene.

BUT

just now-- well, actually about a half an hour ago now-- her cell phone rang. She answered it, then sprang up and went to "her" room, saying- "did you get my text?" - She was in there for a long time, 20 minutes or more, door shut- then she came back, then her phone rang again, she answered, heading back for the room- saying "You ditched me, you totally ditched me!" - Now she is in the room but I think with the door open, and whoever is on the phone is loud enough that Ken and I are speculating that it's on speaker phone. And I can't tell if she is crying or laughing with her friend.

AND

I am currently choosing to stay out of this potential drama. I figure, she is safe in my house, because she can't drive, and has no access to a car, and is very rarely in the house without Ken or me or both of us. So, I think she really can't *do* much.

We're starting to see hints of what makes her mom and grandma so frustrated: completely self-obsessed, inventing fantasies for her future, telling outrageous tales of doubtful veracity of her adventures in the past.

Today, visiting with one of my teen theatre troupe members, KL counted her cash, and said she had $28, but she wouldn't be spending it all, because she is saving her money.

To buy an apartment in New Jersey.