On the sixth night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

On the sixth night, let us celebrate the homey items that I'm not giving you.

For instance, last year I did not give to you SOCKS.

To expand upon that, tonight I will not give to you SUSHI SOCKS.

These are socks. For real. See?

These are also socks:

As are these:

I do love pizza, and I know that you do, too. I do love donuts, and I know you do, too. I love (some) sushi, and I know you love (more) sushi.

I'm not giving you these.

No need to encourage any of us to put our foot in our mouth any more than we currently do.

2019/5780 On the fifth night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Happy Chanukah!

Five crazy nights so far!

I've been reviewing the gifts I did not give you in years gone by.

I recall the Nomming Gnomes of 2015. These terrors of the terrain are apparently predators of lawn ornaments everywhere.

In 2015, you did not have a lawn.

Now you do.

So perhaps you need defense against those Nomming Gnomes. A nommer of Nomming Gnomes.

I found it.

This is what I'm not giving you.

Even though this creature might save the Pink Flamingos from the Plague of the Zombie Gnomes, I am not giving it to you.

Because, as I noted in 2015,  Zombie Gnomes, like Jolly Old Elves, are not real.

So Godzilla would find nary a gnome.  I wouldn't like Godzilla to starve to death.

On the fourth night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

On the fourth night of Chanukah, this is what I picked to not give you:

It's a Runny Nose dispenser for shower gel.

Or, at least, it dispenses SOMETHING.
Maybe it's shower gel. Maybe ItSnot.

Happy Chanukah!

2019/5780 On the third night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Hi! Did you miss me?

I've been traveling, so... I am have gotten a bit behind in what I'm not giving you.

Since I'm behind, this is what I did not give you on the third night of Chanukah:

This is a tissue dispenser. The tissues come out of a cat's ass.

See? I told you I was behind!

This gift is clearly not the cat's pajamas.

While I am not giving you this gift, I will nevertheless gift you with poetry.

'Tis the season when often you do
Find the need for a new clean tissue
Yet these give you paws,
With or without claws,
For who needs an ass for Achoo?

On the second night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

There is something of a tradition on night number #2.  Last year, I reviewed the Second Night of Chanukah gifts.

Because- Number 2.

So, I'll continue the tradition. Because it's NUMBER TWO, I'm not giving you two gifts.

First, there is this:

This is a Paint-a-Poo. It includes THREE MARKERS! To color your POO!

Well, actually not YOUR poo. It's a vinyl poo, that you may individualize. Much as it grieves me, I will not be encouraging your Poopy-Picasso impulses. Sorry.

Then, I will also not give give you this:

This is a coffee mug. It holds more than 12 ounces! 

You LOVE coffee! (As do I!) WHY am I not giving you this?

In honor of night 2, there are two reasons:

1. I have been informed YOU HAVE ENOUGH COFFEE MUGS, THANK YOU!

2. I will not be responsible for you becoming (more of) a potty-mouth.

You're welcome.

2019/ 5780 On the first night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Happy Chanukah!

Today is the first day of Chanukah, which means last night was the first night... of Chanukah! That's how these Jewish holidays roll!

If it's Chanukah, it is time for gift giving-- or gift not-giving, as the case may be. In a tradition that began in 2012, I shall share a series of 8 gifts, one for each night.

Gifts for my DSIL* which I will NOT be giving him.

And because of the deep affection I have for you, dear reader, I will NOT be giving them to you, as well.

On the first night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Nothing. Specifically, I did not give you a JAR of nothing.

Why not? After all, it's 100% natural! Contains no known allergens! Recyclable packaging!

Well, I did not give you this Jar of Nothing for a few reasons.

First, on the major online seller site (notice how I don't mention the name of the River/ Tribe of Warrior Women) this Jar of Nothing is $17.50 with free shipping. While I appreciate the free shipping, I do feel that if you get what you pay for, then you should get nothing for nothing. Clearly, this is overpriced.

Then, I actually already did give you something on the first night. This year, my beloved and I gave in-honor-of-you donations to charity for each of our children and each of their SOs** on the first night of Chanukah. So although it was nothing directly for you (thus a gift of nothing, like the jar I didn't give you), it was something for you and all the world, to make the world a little more just and fair. Nothing AND something!

Also, I heard you already had plenty of nothing... or at least someone has plenty of nothing!

Finally, I remind you that this is Chanukah, which is a Jewish holiday. "Nothing" is more of a gift for a Zen Buddhist.

Or so a cute cartoon I once saw suggested.

Chag Sameach***, DSIL* and DR****.

*Dear Son In Law
**Significant Other(s)
*** Happy holiday!
**** Dear Reader (yes, YOU!)

Core self

My BFFSF* talked about how she is getting back to her core self. The person she was when she was forging her identity for herself in positive ways. For her, that meant forging paths to independence while still maintaining kindness to others. It meant defining boundaries. It meant making improvements in ways that she could, and creating. 

For her, much of that creating and improving was sewing.

So she is sewing again. Sewing for herself, and sewing as a side job that puts a couple dollars in her pocket, while giving her, and her customers, satisfaction.

Her sewing is even healing the planet, a bit, by combating the disposable culture, saving good clothing that can continue to be enjoyed, instead of being replaced.

She finds joy in this. 

I want to return to my core self.

I have to first of all remember who that is. 

For the last several years, I feel like I have been dragged through life by obligations and outside events.  

I've lost my joy.

Who was I, and who am I now, at my core?

When I was forging my own independent identity, and I liked myself, I cooked. I fed others. It brought me joy—and usually brought joy to others. 

I also laughed more, and spent time talking with friends and family. We told jokes and stories.

I told stories. I was never much good at telling jokes.

I went to the theatre, and out for drinks, and out to museums and zoos and exhibits-- and I also stayed home and made a nest where all were welcome. 

I sent funny cards for birthdays and other occasions, or for no occasion at all.

I created. I created stories, and I created shared experiences by directing plays and hosting meetings and having dinners and pot lucks.

Yes, shared experiences of board meetings that were fun. Snacks helped.

So. 

I will keep thinking about who my core self is, and how to express her at this point in my life.

I think food is definitely involved 😊

And friends.

*Best Forever Friend Since Forever