So today, here are your last gifts.
I am not-giving you socks.
It's not because of your age. Although, according to this chart, socks may soon bring you joy:
Anyone know who created this chart? Because I'd LOVE to give them credit!
It also is not because there are no really clever socks out there- how about these:
Make sure your pants cuffs are long enough, and/or don't cross your legs at that meeting. Unless you really want to make a statement about that meeting.
These socks also seem to call your name:
Also not buying you hand-wearables (I would say gloves, but if you will recall the HANDERPANTS that I did not-give you already, there is some confusion these days with what is appropriate garb for hands!).
There are hands masquerading as feet:
It is noted on the site that this is sold as a Finger Foot. Not Finger Feet-- although they declare that IF you buy two, they will probably find a left and a right Finger Foot.
Or these:
I did not scrutinize the fine print to see if you have to buy two, or if they assume you are ambi-duckstrous*
Also not buying this:
Although now, I believe we have strayed from the apparel to the a- puppet realm of gift giving. Why wouldn't I give you this delightful handicorn? Who wouldn't love a unicorn at their finger tips?
Many reasons, but two come to mind:
1. Handicorn sounds too much like candy corn, thus completely confusing a sugar holiday with a fat and carb holiday. Plus, you shouldn't chew your fingers.
2. Please note which finger is lifted to salute you with the unicorn's horn. WHAT KIND OF SALUTE IS THAT?
This does not sound like a unicorn thing to do. This is much more a cat thing to do.
Farewell until next time.
Once again, I harbor hope that I will be writing more in this blog between now and next Chanukah, but in case I don't or in case you don't read it if I do, take care of yourself and please come back and read me next time!
_____________________________
* Not apologizing. Why do you expect it? HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
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