On the seventh night of Hanukah, I did not give to you...

On the penultimate night of the holiday, what did I not give you?

 This is the festival of lights. As the darkness and cold of winter approach, we kindle our candles to spread light and warmth.

But sometimes, we must face the darkness.

This gift I am not giving you is not for the faint of heart. Be warned.

These are zombie garden gnomes and they are gnawing on a fellow lawn ornament:

Why am I not giving you this? Well, although I have very little compassion for pink flamingo lawn ornaments, not even the pinkos deserve this fate.

Plus, it's kind of disgusting.

But the real reason I am not giving this to you is (and I hate to break it to you):

Gnomes, like jolly old elves, are not real.