the least favored child

The good news is that my mom has had her surgery and that we are guardedly optimistic about the prognosis.

The good news is that I am spending more time with my brother and my sister.

Visiting with each of them individually, the subject of my dad came up.

And I could feel my heart twist.

When my sister brought it up- and I don't even remember the context- but something made me say it out loud:

It still hurts, I said, even though I have tried hard to make my peace with it, that I am the least favored child.

Oh, you're not! she said.

I am, I know it, I said. I know he comes in to town and sees you, and sees our brother, and never calls me. I know it. It still hurts.

But you're not the least favorite! she said. What about- and she named his sister, one of his grandchildren, his niece.

I meant, I said, of we siblings.

There was a long and uncomfortable pause.

Well, not always, she said.