Today (October 30) I am feeling unwanted, unneeded, unnecessary. I'm feeling my imposter syndrome- if I am such a good teacher (I AM!) why do they (University admin) keep abusing me.
The chair of my department at Byzantine U, where I have been teaching (first as a graduate teaching assistant, then as part-time faculty) for over 20 years, has casually informed me that they "don't have a class for me" due to a senior tenured faculty coming "back" and therefore needing a class to teach and therefore taking the class I would have been teaching.
This was dropped in the midst of a message: "I've been thinking about you, about your loss, is there anything I can do..." then "Oh by the way..."
Yeah right. Lots of help.
That stung.
I know I’m fragile and vulnerable. I try to take it into account. It’s still a struggle.
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