like a turkey with my head cut off

It recently dawned on me that on Tuesday it will be November.

November = Thanksgiving.

Now, granted, with my mom moving in and taking care of her and being somewhat homebound, I have dozens of excuses BUT excuses don't cut it when you are hosting a host for a holiday.

In some areas I am ahead of the game- I've been on top of laundry for quite some time. Since I am cooking at home, and since I cleaned the deep freeze (intentionally) and cleaned the freezer (because of the thaw-age), the food supplies are fairly current.

We do have 2 new mattress sets.
BUT

The basement is as bad as ever, and I need at least one more set of mattresses and I have so much cleaning and purging to do.

EEEK~~~!!!

an unusual phone call

I received a phone call from my dad. This, in itself, is unusual. Both my father and I hate the phone with a passion. Indeed, I have described myself as phone phobic.

I'm home, he said.

Up North? I said. (As he has a home in the northern part of the state, and a home in the South near the Gulf where he winters).

Yep, he said. Listen, the reason for my call is I wanted to tell you how proud I am of you for what you have done in caring for your mother.

(I managed to say thanks through my shock and emotion - after all, I have long been the least favored child.)

You are a good, nurturing daughter, he said. I wanted to let you know.

I was, and am, stunned.

He noticed. AND said something about it.

He and his wife had visited a few days prior to this- I think my sister must have mentioned that I knew he came into town and didn't visit me, just my brother and sister and so they made a point of coming over- and my dad, his wife, I and my mom had lunch together. My mom took a nap after lunch and my dad, his wife and I visited a bit about my mom's surgeries and recoveries.

My parents have been divorced for more than 20 years. After many uncomfortable years, we as a family have found ways to be together without too much tension.

All of this led up to this most unusual phone call.

I'm not sure how long it will take me to process this.

Guess it's a good thing I answered the phone.

update on it's bad to be good; or, it's difficult to be good is a better title

The update is that my Dear Husband K called my brother C and my sister D. I asked him to call because I was still too pissed to call.

And, my brother came over the next day and K and I went out. And K got my sister to agree to come over Sunday afternoon.

She eagerly agreed to come over Friday night so that K and I could take out her sons to a movie which was our birthday present to my nephew. And she eagerly agreed to come over NEXT Friday so that K and I could take out her and her husband to the comedy club- our birthday gift to her (her sons will be with my mom while the couples go out).

BUT she hemmed and hawed and this and that and dithered before agreeing to come over for Sunday for a break time for me and my hubby.

So, I am grateful for the break time/date time.

But still annoyed at/disappointed in my sister.

My brother, on the other hand, arrived early, and *offered* to make this a weekly event.

It's bad to be good

The good news is that my mom's prognosis is excellent. Every day and every way she is getting better and better!

However, she cannot live on her own yet. Not for quite a while.

I am happy to be able to have this space in my life to provide care for her. I feel it is a blessing and a privilege.

Let me repeat this. Let me make sure you understand: I am HAPPY to do this for my mom.

I am truly, truly glad that I am able to do this. Really. No kidding.

BUT.

(with that build up, of course there is a but)

EVERYBODY needs a break, and currently, 16 days in to full time caregiving of the housebound, which means that I am essentially housebound too, I have not had a break. Not one.

This after a MONTH of daily visits to the hospital. Visits which I do not regret, not one bit, because I know that my being there gave her better quality of care, and even though it took a month to spring her from the joint, I know that my being there helped her recover enough to come home with me more quickly than she would have otherwise.

Hell, even the rehab floor doctor noted on more than one occasion that my mom was much *better* when I was there.

And it is better for my mom to be here. She is getting better and better every day and every way because she is with me, and I am taking care of her, and I have her dogs with me.

BUT

I need a break. And I have not had one in 16 + days.

Going to the grocery store does not constitute a break.

Going to a tension filled family gathering (to which we also brought my mom) does not constitute a break.

And I am PISSED at my sister because she was going on and on and on about how she would definitely be there and give me and my Dear Husband K at least one night off a week, maybe a whole day or a whole weekend, and NADA ZIP ZILCH.

She offered once, for a couple hours last week- when it was Yom Kippur for us, so I was staying home with mom and DH K was going to services so NOT a day to take off- NOT a break. And no offer since.

I am sure I am being unfair because I am nowhere near as pissed at my brother- partly because he hasn't offered all in my face, and because he travels for his job, and because his daughter who is (big long story) in a difficult relationship with him is in town and doing some passive aggressive dance with him at the moment.

And, later, today, or tomorrow, I will have DH K call my sister and BOOK some play dates for us, because I am too angry to do it.

AND furthermore on top of this I am LOSING money taking care of my mom because the only regular income that I have currently (for long and tedious reasons) is when I substitute teach. Which I cannot do. Because I am caregiving.

It's because I am "unemployed" that I can caregive for my mom.

But at the moment I feel like I am being punished for doing what I believe to be the right thing.

GRRR F** news

My mom has moved in with us. I'm glad; I am happy we can do this.

My mom watches F** news- which, in my opinion, should not be allowed to call itself news.

It's making me a little nuts.

This "news" station is so blatantly biased towards conservative-to-extremely-conservative politics that it makes me angry. And I don't feel in a position to rebut this at the moment. So, I'll just complain here.

For instance, today on the Huffington Post (which, I will grant, leans the to the liberal end of the spectrum) I read about the Republicans passing the "Protect Life" bill. The bill "prohibits women from buying health insurance plans that cover abortion under the Affordable Care Act and makes it legal for hospitals to deny abortions to pregnant women with life-threatening conditions." The Huffington Post goes on to state that the "goal" of the bill, to ensure that public funds will not pay for abortion, is already addressed in current law.

On Fox "news", the "reporters" are bashing Democrats for opposing this "Protect Life" bill - bashing in the most strident terms.

There are joys so basic...

It was one year ago today that my daughter B miraculously survived a highway accident in which her vehicle was hit 3 times by 2 different semi-trucks.

This is my experience: Miracle on Monday

This is what she wrote: B's story

Thank you, God, for life and its many blessings. I am grateful every day.