mum

I know because you told me
that you were little and
that your uncle used you and your aunt never knew
or never allowed herself to know

I know because you told me
that your father ripped your innocence away
when you were four years old
and said
look what you made me do
like that would make it your fault
and it took you a lifetime
to find your anger and throw off his blame
your shame
and embrace your innocence and wholeness again

I know because you told me
that Death shoved cold fingers deep inside
taunting you
and you are still staring Death down
saying
you can't take me
I still have life to make

I know because you told me
that a stranger wearing sex as a weapon
hurt you and twisted you and
your healing is a long hard battle

I know because you told me
that life came to you but could not stay
it wasn't time
and that life left
and you were a little hollow
but almost whole

I know so much
because you told me
and so did you
and you
but I cannot tell
because it is not my story
and I only hope that
hearing you
helps you
heal

another rant about internet service providers

It has become such an old old story. Everyone has had their own experience being completely frustrated by trying to get a problem with their internet service resolved. Here is my latest.

I have my university email address set to forward to my email account with my service provider. Fortunately it was early in the semester when I discovered that emails sent to my university address were not forwarding to my main account. The emails weren't bouncing back, either. They were just disappearing into the cyber-void.

I sent a couple test emails, checked that they were sent-- and they never showed up! So I logged in to the university account, re-set the forwarding to my main account, and added the instruction that a copy of the forwarded message would also go to the university account inbox.

So now I test again. And, the email to the university account is sent-- and shows up in the university account inbox-- and STILL does not show up in my main account.

So I log on to the account help with my Internet service provider. First, I had to go through no fewer than four pages of FAQs, always choosing the last option "None of these help me" until finally I am offered a live chat with an analyst.

At last!

I could paste in the entire chat-- because I saved it-- but I will spare you. The bottom line is that once I explained the problem, the analyst immediately decided, told me, insisted (with terrible grammar)-- that the issue must be with the UNIVERSITY account, not with the Internet service email. Insisted that I take it up with the university IT department. The analyst practically slammed the door on the chat.

So, then I went in to my university email account. I changed the forwarding to a different email address-- NOT one supplied by my Internet service provider.

And guess what? The university email now forwards JUST FINE to the new email address.