what honor in murder?

Man Accused Of Killing Daughter For Family Honor-

That was the headline at npr.org today. I heard on the radio when I was going home from a morning appointment at the optometrist's.

In July, a young woman was found dead. Her father allegedly confessed to strangling her with a bungee cord because she was bringing dishonor to the family by seeking a divorce.

"She wanted out of an arranged marriage, but her father thought a divorce would bring shame to the family. . . Honor killings are old rites of murder within families, committed because of some perceived dishonor or shame."-- from the NPR story.

The story later states "[A police officer] says Rashid told him that killing his daughter was a right given to him by God — and that God would protect him. To police, in other words, this was an honor killing."

The defense team is trying to keep this incident from being labeled an honor killing.

As I listened to the radio, and more and more as I thought about it, I was uncomfortable with the label myself. The semantics of it: an honor killing. It makes it sound-- well, not like murder, not like a homicide, not like murdering your own flesh and blood. Labeling such a crime an honor killing makes it sound almost noble.

There is nothing admirable about murder, certainly nothing honorable about murdering your own flesh and blood.

And let's be honest: how many "honor killings" target men, huh? Much like "wife-beating" or "domestic violence", this kind of semantic dance turns blame away from the perpetrator, distances the criminal from the crime, the offender from the offense.

"Wife-beating" sounds like there are wives out there getting beaten, sure, by... someone. "Domestic violence" makes brutality in the home-- where we should be safest, where we should have the people who love us and protect us-- seem abstract, the topic for scholarly research.

The language we use is important. It shapes our perceptions. It matters.

Why, oh, why, would such a thing be called an honor killing? Even in the perpetrator's mind, it is not motivated by honor, but by shame-- perceived shame, anyway.

If you must call it anything other than murder, call it a shame murder.