Dale Carnegie

I am a fan of Dale Carnegie.

I am. No apologies.

I first encountered Dale when I was young-- maybe 10 or 12. My dad was taking one of his courses, and he was sharing some of the insights with me as he was driving me somewhere-- maybe picking me up from Girl Scouts?

Anyway, part of what he shared with me at that time was that a really important skill was really listening to people-- taking an interest in what interested them.

(Frankly I think he told me this to shut me up from babbling....)

As part of the course, Dad got the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Because it was printed matter, and in my house, I read it.

I know it's a sales manual, essentially. It still makes a lot of sense. Recognize people. Use their names. Give positive reinforcement. Listen.

It all made a lot of sense. It helped. It didn't rescue me from total geek-dom, but it helped.

I survived junior high, didn't I?

Fast forward to my adult years. I have children, they become teens, and through 4-H, the kids take the Dale Carnegie Course.

I refresh my memories of the Carnegie wisdom.

A few years later, one of my sons, seeing me stressing out, suggests I read "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" from his Dale Carnegie course.

I read it... or re-read it, I can't remember. Part of the formula for the "stop worrying" part is: Ask yourself, what is the WORST that can happen?

Acknowledging the worst that can happen is remarkably freeing. One of the examples in the book is a man who is present in a country (foreign to the U.S.) when there is a violent coup. What's the worst that can happen? Well, the new powers-that-be could decide he's a threat and execute him. So, that's bad. Recognize that. And what can you do to minimize the chance that the worst will happen?

This is great. Acknowledge that some things are out of your control. Acknowledge that you do have *some* control over some things: your attitudes; usually, your own actions.

So: there is a lot going on in my life right now. (So, what else is new?) There is A LOT that I cannot control.

Acknowledge that.

Then, do what I can to minimize negative outcomes; do what I can to maximize positive outcomes.

Health: the health of several that I love is compromised or in jeopardy. There isn't much I can do; I am doing what I can.

MY HEALTH: I am taking action by increasing exercise and making better choices in eating.

Career: I am ticking off one by one the jobligations that I have: finished one commissioned interactive play; finishing up teaching assignment at University; countdown until play I'm directing goes up; supplemental school winding down.

Academic/career: WORK every day, and I MUST succeed.

Wish me luck, and help me by nagging, bragging, removing obstacles and sending prayers.

Stop worrying. Start living.

Thanks.