Channukah 1-2-3

 My goodness, how time flies when you are in a pandemic!

It has been a tradition for many years now - since 2012 or 5773 depending on your calendar- that on each night of Chanukah, I select a gift not to give to my DSIL*. 

Our family has had challenges and dark days recently. Perhaps your family has too. During this festival of lights, it is worth it to bring a little light and levity where we can. It's worth continuing a tradition, even if it's silly. 

So, a couple nights late, I am offering my traditional gifts-not-given.

On the first night of Chanukah, I did not give to you:

These are slippers that are fully microwavable.

Don't believe me? Look closer!

It says that these are snugglable, huggable, loveable slippers. That are fully microwavable.

So wrong. 

I understand that the isolation of the pandemic is getting to all of us, but are we truly driven to snuggling with slippers?

Or are we supposed to eat them? 

I am opposed to putting footwear in my cooking appliances. So, no. 

On the second night of Chaunkah, I did not give to you:

This is a still shot of the game Potty Racers. It is something of a tradition that for night number 2,  I don't buy for you a potty or poop themed gift, such as the shitten,  or woods wipe toilet paper (in the same post, although not intended for night 2, I also didn't gift poo-pouri, or the squatty potty).

So here is an appropriately-themed gift for night number 2. This game has a stick man who is boldly building racing porta-potties and propelling them off cliffs and into races - presumably with other portapotty-racers. It has at least FIVE VERSIONS OF THE GAME!

Why did I not-buy this gift for you?

Two reasons (number two, get it?).

1.As far as I can tell, the porta-potties are not poop-propelled. I believe in the Power of Poop. 

2.Also as far as I can tell, the game is free. So, I can't buy it. 

 So there is that.

 

On the THIRD NIGHT of Chanukah- It's tonight! So- see you tonight!