5783 On the Sixth Night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you...

 I'm not going to lie, this particular holiday season of 5783/2022 has been unusually trying. People are posting that it's hard to get into the holiday spirit. Then the Polar Vortex threw a curve into many holiday plans. This is no laughing matter- I hope you and yours are safe and warm.

Never the less, these challenges have some of us feeling a bit down in the mouth.

Granddaughter down in the mouth, when she was little. Granted, it was a big mouth.

We don't want you to be down in the mouth. We want to turn that frown upside down! It turns out, fun fact, that your dental and oral health may be a key to your mental health! Did you know that some research suggests that good oral hygiene can help prevent Alzheimer’s? 

So take care of those chomps! And your mouth!

You can do it on your own, because on the sixth night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you:

This is Dr. Tung's Tongue Cleaner! It's recommended by dental health professionals! Adjustable! Stainless steel! Comes with its own travel case! According to reviews, it is life changing!

Why wouldn't I buy you this?

It's too personal. I don't want to suggest that you have bad breath, or early dementia. 

It's life-changing. That could be great. That could be ominous. 

I read the instructions. 

Place cleaner as far back as is comfortable. (I am already uncomfortable.)

Gently glide cleaner forward, 'scraping' off unwanted matter. (Still uncomfortable. Quotation marks around "scraping"?!? What are we qualifying here? "Unwanted matter"- what is that!?! Do you jump over "wanted matter"?)

Repeat 3 or 4 times.  (What? I didn't get all that "unwanted matter" the first go?)

Besides, it's difficult to decide whether I should buy you just this tongue cleaner, or package it with other products from Dr. Tung's Innovative Oral Care. Toothbrush protection! (Didn't know they were in danger.) Smart floss! (As much trouble as I have with a smart phone and smart tv, I shudder to think of smart floss.)  Oil pulling concentrate*! 

Too many decisions. I decided to not buy you all of it.

Here's hoping you aren't down in the mouth, and that frown turns upside down, with or without smart floss.

*I didn't know about oil pulling as oral health care either. It is apparently derived from Ancient Ayurvedic texts. From my extremely shallow dive into research, it does involve oil, but does not involve pulling teeth. I was worried.