2019/ 5780 On the first night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Happy Chanukah!

Today is the first day of Chanukah, which means last night was the first night... of Chanukah! That's how these Jewish holidays roll!

If it's Chanukah, it is time for gift giving-- or gift not-giving, as the case may be. In a tradition that began in 2012, I shall share a series of 8 gifts, one for each night.

Gifts for my DSIL* which I will NOT be giving him.

And because of the deep affection I have for you, dear reader, I will NOT be giving them to you, as well.

On the first night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Nothing. Specifically, I did not give you a JAR of nothing.

Why not? After all, it's 100% natural! Contains no known allergens! Recyclable packaging!

Well, I did not give you this Jar of Nothing for a few reasons.

First, on the major online seller site (notice how I don't mention the name of the River/ Tribe of Warrior Women) this Jar of Nothing is $17.50 with free shipping. While I appreciate the free shipping, I do feel that if you get what you pay for, then you should get nothing for nothing. Clearly, this is overpriced.

Then, I actually already did give you something on the first night. This year, my beloved and I gave in-honor-of-you donations to charity for each of our children and each of their SOs** on the first night of Chanukah. So although it was nothing directly for you (thus a gift of nothing, like the jar I didn't give you), it was something for you and all the world, to make the world a little more just and fair. Nothing AND something!

Also, I heard you already had plenty of nothing... or at least someone has plenty of nothing!

Finally, I remind you that this is Chanukah, which is a Jewish holiday. "Nothing" is more of a gift for a Zen Buddhist.

Or so a cute cartoon I once saw suggested.

Chag Sameach***, DSIL* and DR****.

*Dear Son In Law
**Significant Other(s)
*** Happy holiday!
**** Dear Reader (yes, YOU!)