2019/5780 On the fifth night of Chanukah, I did not give to you...

Happy Chanukah!

Five crazy nights so far!

I've been reviewing the gifts I did not give you in years gone by.

I recall the Nomming Gnomes of 2015. These terrors of the terrain are apparently predators of lawn ornaments everywhere.

In 2015, you did not have a lawn.

Now you do.

So perhaps you need defense against those Nomming Gnomes. A nommer of Nomming Gnomes.

I found it.

This is what I'm not giving you.

Even though this creature might save the Pink Flamingos from the Plague of the Zombie Gnomes, I am not giving it to you.

Because, as I noted in 2015,  Zombie Gnomes, like Jolly Old Elves, are not real.

So Godzilla would find nary a gnome.  I wouldn't like Godzilla to starve to death.