Core self

My BFFSF* talked about how she is getting back to her core self. The person she was when she was forging her identity for herself in positive ways. For her, that meant forging paths to independence while still maintaining kindness to others. It meant defining boundaries. It meant making improvements in ways that she could, and creating. 

For her, much of that creating and improving was sewing.

So she is sewing again. Sewing for herself, and sewing as a side job that puts a couple dollars in her pocket, while giving her, and her customers, satisfaction.

Her sewing is even healing the planet, a bit, by combating the disposable culture, saving good clothing that can continue to be enjoyed, instead of being replaced.

She finds joy in this. 

I want to return to my core self.

I have to first of all remember who that is. 

For the last several years, I feel like I have been dragged through life by obligations and outside events.  

I've lost my joy.

Who was I, and who am I now, at my core?

When I was forging my own independent identity, and I liked myself, I cooked. I fed others. It brought me joy—and usually brought joy to others. 

I also laughed more, and spent time talking with friends and family. We told jokes and stories.

I told stories. I was never much good at telling jokes.

I went to the theatre, and out for drinks, and out to museums and zoos and exhibits-- and I also stayed home and made a nest where all were welcome. 

I sent funny cards for birthdays and other occasions, or for no occasion at all.

I created. I created stories, and I created shared experiences by directing plays and hosting meetings and having dinners and pot lucks.

Yes, shared experiences of board meetings that were fun. Snacks helped.

So. 

I will keep thinking about who my core self is, and how to express her at this point in my life.

I think food is definitely involved 😊

And friends.

*Best Forever Friend Since Forever