Well, strictly speaking, on the fourth night of Chanukah, I didn't not-buy you anything. I was busy... but, fortunately for all of us, all Jewish holidays begin at sundown and then continue through the next day until sundown. So, I'm still on time! AND today is THURSDAY, so we can do a little Throwback Thursday action.
For instance, remember when I didn't give you this:
You can read all about WHY I didn't give it to you HERE
There were a few reasons, including NOT WANTING YOU TO BE DEVOURED, which is in part while I am not giving you this one this year:
Also, I am charmed at the specificity of the GREEN dragon. Also a MAGICAL character. To differentiate between this and the GRAY shark, which is an UNDERWATER character.
Continuing to THROW BACK** on this Thursday, remember all those times I didn't buy you drinking accessories? For instance, when I didn't give you the BOOT? When I didn't give a chill option to get HAMMERED?
When I didn't get you what you FLASKED for***?
So, perhaps we should sober up****. Therefore, I will not give you:
This is SOBERDOUGH. According to the website,
Home baked bread --- Just add beer --- No Baking skills needed!
Okay, I added the emphasis. That exclamation point is all me!
Why didn't I buy this for you? Several reasons:
1. The DOUGH gets to drink, but you don't? Unfair!
2. This implies that you have no baking skills. I would never suggest such a thing.
3. This display was an impulse-buy display at the check out counter of the HARDWARE STORE. Who shops for fine cuisine at the hardware store? Who impulsively bakes?*****
So no, didn't buy this.
One last TBT gem:
Remember when I didn't buy you POO-POURI? When I didn't buy you the SQUATTY POTTY?
LOOK what I found on recent shopping trips!
AND
The POO-POURI gift sets were in the aforementioned hardware store near the Soberdough (another reason not to buy SOBERDOUGH-- just saying!). The SQUATTY POTTY stack was at Costco! (I think Costco. Maybe Meijer?)
I'm NOT not-giving you either of these to you this year; that would be redundant. I'm just including them to show you how trend-setting we are! Our not-giving gifts are mainstream these days!
So, happy Thursday and happy fourth day of Chanukah!
Talk to you soon!
__________________________________
*Are dragons like owls? Pellet-puke instead of poop? Although, I am pretty sure that dragon fewmets are poop.
** THROW BACK! Get it? See what I did there?
*** Not apologizing. Nope.You can take it. You have BALLS OF STEEL.
**** Or maybe not. It's the holidays! Eat, drink, and so on!
***** Okay, forget that last one. I have been known to impulsively bake.
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