You have been invited...

 I received the email reminder that I sent myself:

“You have been invited to an event: Take Out the Trash…”

I am invited to this event weekly. I need the reminder, because it just doesn’t stick in my brain. 

I’ve been able to turn off the reminders to feed my dog daily in the morning, but I still have a daily reminder in the evening to feed her. 

Time doesn’t make sense to me right now. 

I just sent an email to the university -not Byzantine U, we’ll call this 3rd U, since it is the third university at which I have taught with some regularity- to 3rd U that I will not be available to teach the class that I had been asked to teach this winter. It is a synchronous class, meaning I have to be in an internet-active place at a certain time for two hours every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth for that time commitment. 

Time doesn’t make sense to me right now.

I have commitments that are important to me in my family, and in my faith-and-friend community, and I am barely holding it together there. 

I just vacuumed the living room for the first time in at least a month. 

I just started a load of laundry for the first time in at least two weeks.

I am struggling to assist my struggling (asynchronous) students. We will get through the semester somehow.

Thanksgiving is next week. It feels like the first major holiday since Ken died- although it isn’t. We had Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah— but Rosh Hashanah was just days after Ken was buried and that entire month is a blur of pain and loss and forgetfulness.

I’ve started therapy. The jury’s still out, but at least I am setting aside an hour a week to focus on my journey.