5778: On the sixth night...

Whoops! Falling behind in the festivities!

It must have been that fifth....

On that subject still*, on the sixth night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you ...

I did not buy for you this- or rather, these- drinking buddies.

Why not?

1. Well, it themes to me-- I mean, it seems to me**-- that we're on a roll here with not-buying you drink accessories.

2. You have plenty of drinking buddies already. I've met some of them.

3. I've met drinking buddies, and these Chippendale- I mean, chipper- guys don't look like drinking buddies. Nope. They look like gym buddies. Beach buddies, maybe.

4. They are marketed as "drink markers." Listen, if you have to haul a bobbing beach boy out of your beverage to scrutinize his-- swim trunks-- to figure out if it's your drink or not, maybe you should not be drinking that beverage in the first place.

Not to mention it seems odd to have action figures in your alcohol- especially when their spandex doesn't feature any MARVEL-ous logos.

Seventh night, coming up!


* I don't have a still. Stop asking.

** Don't judge.