On the fourth night of Chanukah I did not buy for you...

 Fourth night- the midway point!

On the fourth night of Chanukah I did not buy for you:

These are a full dozen itty bitty rubber chickens. A dozen! Just like you buy EGGS!

I'm a fan of rubber chickens, actually. They are funny. I have one in my basement right now.

Everyone should have a rubber chicken!

So why wouldn't I buy this for you?

I'm sure there are many reasons, but basically it boils down to the fact that these biddies are itty bitty. 

Teeny tiny itty bitty biddies. If you had one in your pocket, you could reach for your keys and accidentally choke the chicken!

Let's face it, for these particular peckers, size matters.

If you think that is fowl, you are correct.

On the third night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you...

 Happy Chanukah! Welcome to night three!

On the third night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you:

Grow a boyfriend. Also available in Grow a Girlfriend.

Behold! If you are stuck for a date (or a companion) you can grow your own.

Seriously, the DIY movement and Grow Your Own movement are both in full swing. 

Why not Create Your Own Companion? Grows up to 6 times its original size! Just add water- classic easy recipe!

WHY NOT?

Well there are a few reasons.

1. First of all, and I do hate to be picky about this, but grammar matters. This packaging reads "it's" when it should read "its" and this is simply not acceptable. I am an educator, after all.

2. I know you have lots of companions, as well as your own wonderful partner (after all, you are my DSIL*). You are never without a companion when you want one- and if you happened to be without a companion, I know you are great at making friends. Note: you make friends, and grow friendships. You are already great at this!

3. Finally, you and I both know that growing your own companion can go horribly wrong. And if you, dear reader, do not know this, you should immediately buy this book**!

Click this link to order!

See you tomorrow night!

*Dear Son in Law- to whom this blog was first dedicated in 2012 and to whom it is still addressed

** This is not shameless self-promotion. While I admit that in this promotion I have no shame, I am not promoting my own work. I am promoting my daughter's work.