To wrap up** the not-giving of gifts, I offer you these two:
and
Each of these items is comfy! Warm! Heroic!
And yet, I did not buy them for you.
Why not? I hear you ask...beg... cry...query***!
It's not a crock! It's not scatological humor disguised as undergarments (or vice versa)! It's not pandering to laziness! It's not an erotic appliance! It's not a pillow at cross purposes with sleep! It's not something that pisses off your cat! It's not completely inappropriate!
SO WHY DIDN'T I BUY ONE OF THESE?
The answer is quite simple:
I could not find them in your size.
Which, as my 6 foot 3 inch tall nephew informed me, is just wrong. They should make them in adult sizes!
I guess I need to write to the companies.
* Tell me you haven't been singing the title every night.
** wrap up, get it?
*** okay, so maybe I didn't hear you query, but I definitely heard asking and begging.
1 comment:
Oh, I queried. Make no mistake. Mind you, I don't know what the purpose of a "bath poncho" is. Isn't it just a robe? A Mexican robe? Do I wear it IN the bath? I suppose we'll never know, as it's not my size.
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