Change: too much, not enough

 Everything has changed. 

So many things are just the same.

So much still has to change.

What do I want to hold on to? What do I need to let go of?

I have to figure out how to pay my phone bill; Ken did that, and it was online, and I don't know if he did it from his phone, or his email. I don't want to open his phone or his email. I have to change from two lines/numbers to one. I can't do this yet: pragmatically, because some verification codes are still sent to his phone; emotionally because I just- can't.

Today we moved around the furniture in the bedroom, so it is different, it feels different. That feels right.

Letting go of clothes, dressers... that feels ... not wrong, but not yet.

There is a fine line between images and objects bringing comfort or triggering pain.

I still want to turn back time.

I know I cannot stay here, stuck. I don't know how to move forward.

One step at a time, I guess.