This is my story

 #thisismystoryLHK

Today I have to grade SO MANY THINGS. I have to complete preparations for Passover. I have to take a Covid test so that I can attend first night Seder with a group of people, all of whom have been careful, as I have. Many of whom are especially vulnerable.

Tonight at sundown is the first night of Passover. For me, the hard part is the cleaning and planning and shopping for hard to find Kosher-for-Passover products (hard to find in my area, at least). 

What I look forward to at Passover is the coming of spring, and the time to reflect on freedom.

We commemorate and celebrate our escape from bondage in Egypt so many generations ago. The Hebrew word for Egypt can be transliterated mitzrayim. It means Egypt- and it also means "narrow places" or "blockages."

How am I to escape the narrow places, the blockages in my life?

My mom died in October. I'm still working through the narrow confines of her decline, her illness, her death, its aftermath.

The Pandemic is still ongoing. This has blocked so much for so many of us. So many losses, large and small. 

Passover is also an opportunity to envision what freedom might look like, and to map out a path.

I am struggling through narrow places. I see wilderness ahead. I am praying for visions of freedom, so that I might find my path. 

UPDATE May 2 2022

I made it through the narrow places of Passover. 

I found the Passover food. 

I and my beloved passed the Covid test:

 

It was a lovely seder. The next night, we had our own intimate seder, just we two.

I am still struggling with anxiety. I will try writing more.