On the eighth night of Chanukah, I did not buy for you...

 This is it! The last night of Chanukah- all eight candles, plus the helper shamash candle, have been lit.

Perhaps the most beautiful night of all.

And my last opportunity in 5785 to not buy you a Chanukah gift. 

So before I go, for when you gotta go, I did not buy for you:

This is the crap-strap so that you can poop in the woods with ease. 

It zips into itself so it's discreet and also holds POOP  BAGS! So you can clean up after yourself just like you do for your pooch!

Crap (Krap) Strap zipped and with supplies

Why did I not buy this for you? And why did I not not-buy it on night Number Two?

Reason Number One, it's winter. I don't think you're the hiking, hunting, camping-in-the-woods in January kind of guy. I could be wrong. Feel free to correct me if I am.

Number Two (heh heh), I wanted something special for the end of Chanukah. Something special to bring up the rear.

And this is designed to bring up your rear.

Rear view of rear