It is that time once again! Chanukah begins tonight*!
Even though it has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year** in so many ways, there are always moments to lift us up and light our way.
Chanukah, the festival of lights, should bring light into our lives. So to you, dear SIL***, and you, dear readers, I once again will not buy for you at least eight gifts for Chanukah.
Beginning with this:
You roll 6 of the dice to find out how you'll be working out. Then you roll out the 7th to see how many reps**** you will do.
Why would I not buy this for you? I know that you work out. I know that in this pandemic year, you haven't been able to go to the gym. So, why not Fitness Dice?
Basically three reasons:
1. Misleading advertising. Takes the "work out of working out." Quite honestly, choosing what exercises to do is the very LEAST of the WORK in a workout*****.
2. Dice is one thing - well actually, DICE is PLURAL things, and that 7th one is a DIE. I will not offer you to die, even if it is a mere homophone.******
3. Finally, you are rolling the dice, which is gambling. You should not gamble with your health.
So, stop begging, it's no dice.
* Did you know that Chanukah ALWAYS starts on the 25th? It's true. The 25th of Kislev. Not December.
** Such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year that I did consider moving to Australia. Except their borders were closed. Also, apologies to Judith Viorst.
*** This tradition began in Kislev of 5773 (that would be December of 2012) when my now S-I-L (Son-in-law) was my DDSO (Dear Daughter's Significant Other). This gift has kept on giving.
**** "Reps" = "repetition of the exercise". I looked it up. You're welcome.
***** Seriously, choosing the exercise is work? Just THINKING about the exercising is such work for me that I'm considering not-not buying (I mean, buying!) this nice Nap Anywhere pillow - for myself!
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