mum

I know because you told me
that you were little and
that your uncle used you and your aunt never knew
or never allowed herself to know

I know because you told me
that your father ripped your innocence away
when you were four years old
and said
look what you made me do
like that would make it your fault
and it took you a lifetime
to find your anger and throw off his blame
your shame
and embrace your innocence and wholeness again

I know because you told me
that Death shoved cold fingers deep inside
taunting you
and you are still staring Death down
saying
you can't take me
I still have life to make

I know because you told me
that a stranger wearing sex as a weapon
hurt you and twisted you and
your healing is a long hard battle

I know because you told me
that life came to you but could not stay
it wasn't time
and that life left
and you were a little hollow
but almost whole

I know so much
because you told me
and so did you
and you
but I cannot tell
because it is not my story
and I only hope that
hearing you
helps you
heal

another rant about internet service providers

It has become such an old old story. Everyone has had their own experience being completely frustrated by trying to get a problem with their internet service resolved. Here is my latest.

I have my university email address set to forward to my email account with my service provider. Fortunately it was early in the semester when I discovered that emails sent to my university address were not forwarding to my main account. The emails weren't bouncing back, either. They were just disappearing into the cyber-void.

I sent a couple test emails, checked that they were sent-- and they never showed up! So I logged in to the university account, re-set the forwarding to my main account, and added the instruction that a copy of the forwarded message would also go to the university account inbox.

So now I test again. And, the email to the university account is sent-- and shows up in the university account inbox-- and STILL does not show up in my main account.

So I log on to the account help with my Internet service provider. First, I had to go through no fewer than four pages of FAQs, always choosing the last option "None of these help me" until finally I am offered a live chat with an analyst.

At last!

I could paste in the entire chat-- because I saved it-- but I will spare you. The bottom line is that once I explained the problem, the analyst immediately decided, told me, insisted (with terrible grammar)-- that the issue must be with the UNIVERSITY account, not with the Internet service email. Insisted that I take it up with the university IT department. The analyst practically slammed the door on the chat.

So, then I went in to my university email account. I changed the forwarding to a different email address-- NOT one supplied by my Internet service provider.

And guess what? The university email now forwards JUST FINE to the new email address.

August in Mississippi

Once again I am visiting my daughter, who lives in the South, in the summer.



Once again, her next visit to us in the North is scheduled for November.

I don't know why this happens- well, I guess I do. Even though we have never, in our family, taken the traditional path in education, we still find ourselves tied to the academic calendar. That's why I often end up in Mississippi in the summer.

And in our family, the tradition is that we all gather at my home for Thanksgiving in November.

Given the climate, sometimes I wonder if some *small* adjustments might be made... winter holidays in the South, perhaps?

serial killer

There is a serial killer in Flint. This is just about my back yard.

Where does this insanity come from? How can it go on so long without catching a knife-wielding killer?

why spider solitaire is great

Spider solitaire on my new computer is fun, great, and addictive.

You do have to think, look, see patterns-- BUT if you hit the M key, you will get a hint.

If you have tried everything, you can back up, look over your past moves, and try again.

And again. And again. Until you get it right. Your patience will eventually be rewarded.

But, if you are running out of time, and it's not worth it anymore, you can make it vanish from your life with just one click.

And, if you have had too long a run of no time and stress, and your statistics are too low, you can make your history vanish and start again with a completely clean slate.

I wouldn't mind having the M key in my life on occasion.

Why is it that I get great writing ideas when I can't write?

I distinctly remember telling myself: that's a great idea! remember that idea when you get out of the car and write yourself a note so that you can put that in your blog.

But do I remember the IDEA that I was telling myself to write about? NOOOO!

Why do BRILLIANT ideas occur to me when I am driving? Or otherwise engaged so that I cannot write down the germ of the idea?

Just a phrase or two would capture it; but try as I might to chant the phrase internally, it still dissolves like morning mist before I find pen and paper.

what is the purpose of having a baby toe?

I smashed my baby toe yesterday. Twice. And it hurts. It's probably broken.

Baby toes seem to get smashed more often than other toes. At least mine do.

Why do we still have baby toes? Do we need them for balance? To complete the little piggie song and sing wee, wee, wee all the way home?

I don't even think toes in general, or baby toes in particular, are attractive.

Maybe the only purpose they have is to get hurt. On the edge. But protecting the rest of the toes and your foot.