reply

One of the features of the digital info age is that near instantaneous replies are possible. Literally around the world, someone can ask and be answered almost at once.

Live chat sessions to repair your computer. INSTANT messaging.

One of the drawbacks of this feature, it seems to me, is the change in expectations resulting in less patience.

In a bygone era, if you wrote a letter, a speedy response would be in a week to ten days.

Now, if I post a question or a comment, if I don't hear a response before days end, or AT LEAST within 24 hours, I am puzzled, frustrated, nearly offended.

Was my message not received? Is the receiver ignoring me? WHY haven't I heard back?

What do you think?


HEY! Why haven't you answered??? It's been TWO MINUTES!

drugs

I have a friend who has recently had major surgery. He is slowly recovering, and he is on morphine.

I remember morphine.

When I went in for an appendectomy, I was put on morphine post-surgery. This is a lovely drug. Seriously. I knew there was pain, but I truly didn't care.

Even emotional pain: my parents were newly divorced and each had a significant other with them when they came to visit me at the same time in my hospital room.

I knew I should care, but I didn't.

It is a testament to my dedication to being a nursing (that is to say, breastfeeding) mom at the time, that I got myself off of morphine in just a bit over 24 hours.

My friend has the new pusher device so that he can self-medicate. This is new: not something they trusted me with-- probably a good idea.

It's not perfect, but when you are in a lot of pain, morphine certainly helps. In my opinion, it's a good drug.

I am, myself, the child of the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll era. Even so, I am anti-drug. I don't really want pharmeceuticals in my food. Definitely anti-recreational/illegal drugs. And I have longed, how I have longed, to avoid drugs in my own life.

Even antibiotics.

I think we are all over drugged. I think that's why there are drug-resistant super-germs. I am one of those who believes that we should let our immune system do its thing, that our immune system gets stronger by doing its job.

And yet...

Morphine is a lovely drug. It's no wonder it's controlled.

And I cheerfully use my favorite and most frequent drug, caffeine. (In fact, I am not at all cheeful when I am caffeine free.) I am well aware that alcohol is a legal drug with many dangers, to be used carefully-- and I use alcohol. Often I use them both in the same day. Not too long ago, after a night in which I'd had a couple of great cups of coffee-- at midnight-- and then 2 or 3 glasses of wine, I had a sleepless night. I remarked to my friends:

You know how if someone is drunk, and drinks a bunch of coffee to try to sober up, all you get is a wide-awake drunk?

--my friends conceded they were well aware.

Well, I continued, I've discovered that if you have too much coffee late at night, and try to drink some wine so you can sleep, all you get is a really mellow insomniac.

It's not just my drugs-of-choice caffeine and alcohol. My physician has me on two drugs by prescription. One is for my depression, and I hope to wean myself off of this one in the not too distant future. The other is for my cholesterol. According to my latest bloodwork, this one is working. I may be on it for the rest of my life.

Drugs. Maybe the symbol shouldn't be :

But instead, the symbol should be:

STD

Recently released government research states that one in four teen girls has an STD- a sexually transmitted disease.

This is so disturbing on so many levels.

Why is this study on girls? Where is the study on boys? Is it "easier" to study girls? Are girls somehow to blame?

According to the study, while one in four American teen girls has an STD, within the African-American population, the statistic is still more alarming. Almost fifty percent of teen African-American women have an STD.

The study goes on to blame this rise in STDs on the failure of sex education-- and specifically "abstinence only" sex education.

No surprise there-- just telling kids NOT to do what their bodies are screaming to do is DOOMED to failure from the start.

The study also mentions that many teens do not consider it "sex" if it isn't intercourse. Thus oral sex and other sexual activities "don't count" even though these activities also spread disease.

A Law and Order repeat last night was on some of these "it's not sex" parties with teens. AKKHH! How can these kids believe this is not sex? What a different world.

words

I love words. I have a fairly good vocabulary, if I do say so myself.

My vocabulary is large and sort of-- organic. It's rich, ready and available and always growing both by adding new words and by deepening the understanding of words I already have.

For instance, I was about to comment that my dogs are like recalcitrant children.

I know the word recalcitrant. I know how it feels, what it suggests and I was fairly certain I knew what it meant-- but not crisply, sharply certain.

recalcitrant: Marked by stubborn resistance to and defiance of authority or guidance.

So now I realize that Jackson is recalcitrant. What is the word for Jasper? I mean, is doofus enough?

doofus: An incompetent, foolish, or stupid person.

Maybe Jasper isn't a doofus. Maybe he just looks like doofus sounds. He isn't foolish or stupid. He's just clumsy and usually gets caught when he's up to mischief.

Maybe he's a schlemiel.

schemiel: A habitual bungler; a dolt.

That's closer, I guess.

Habitual.

We all have habitual words. I find it's hard to identify one's own habitual words, while it's easy to identify someone else's.

I am not talking about, like, I mean, the words, you know, that somehow, like, get, you know, uselessly, I mean, just, like, strewn about within, you know, sentences.

I am talking about words that we as individuals drag out and use far more often than most of the population.

For instance, my husband is fond of the word demeanor. He uses it correctly. It's simply that it comes up far more often in his speech than in most people's conversation.

Once, an entire graduate level class of mine all seemed to find it necessary to use the word visceral several times each class meeting.

I wonder what my habitual words are these days?

"When I make a word do a lot of work like that," said Humpty Dumpty, "I always pay it extra." —Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass, 1872

Holly

We had the opportunity to visit with my other son and his wife this past weekend.

It is still odd to me to say "and his wife". On some level, my children will always be children to me, even though every one of my four children is now over 18-- the age of majority in the current era. Always, my children.

On the other hand, it is a distinct pleasure to enjoy the company of the adults my children have become.

My son came over and worked on his taxes with his dad, discussing finance and car repair and home ownership. He and his wife are both looking at grad school; they are both employed and share with us the ups and downs on the job.

We went out to dinner. A friend of ours was playing a gig in the restaurant. He is my friend, and also a friend of my son. We have friends in common. I talk theater with our friend; my son talks music and technology.

My heart swells at the amazing young man my son has become. Charming, responsible, intelligent and thoughtful.

This is a good moment. While I give my son every credit for working on, growing and maturing to the person he has become-- is becoming-- still, I know that the years of parenting have had an impact, too.

dogs and health

I am having trouble, just at the moment, understanding just how anyone ever decided that there are health benefits to having dogs.

Having a dog is supposed to improve one's mood and lower one's blood pressure. Having dog is supposed to reduce stress. HA!

My TWO dogs seem to be bent on RAISING my blood pressure, destroying any positive mood and stressing me out.

My beautiful black dog is bouncing (literally) back and forth between barking his head off at the front room window, the window on the backyard, or my face. When he stops barking, it is to pick up ANYTHING- shoe, coat, pillow-- that he can chew or tear apart. Or thinks he can, until I shout LEAVE IT! Whereupon he drops the item and resumes barking, usually at my face.

My beautiful blond dog is coming up to me adoringly, trailing ropes of saliva which he seeks to paint me with as he lays his head on my arm, my lap, tries to lick my face.

It's really--

Wait, what do I hear? SILENCE?

Well, sometimes it is lovely to have dogs.

So long as we let sleeping dogs lie.

Chicago

We went to visit our son in Chicago. We had a great time guiding each other through the city.

Our son had a gift certificate to RJ Grunts and took us there for lunch. My husband pointed out to our son the exact spot where my husband first caught site of me.

We stayed in our son's apartment. We did some of the ordinary chores of family life-- cooking, grocery shopping. We accompanied him to his work and watched him in action.

We visited with his girlfriend and with her parents.

We went to a movie. It's been a long time since we went to a movie downtown. We forgot about parking. Somehow, we just barely made it into the movie so the opening scene was just beginning.

Timing is everything.

One side benefit of going to the movie: we all discovered the location of Second City. Good to know.

While my husband and I shared some of our personal history in Chicago, our son introduced us to the features of his Chicago: we toured the Art Institute of Chicago, and our son introduced us to the Bean.

We went out and enjoyed some Chicago blues at the Kingston Mines.

We packed a lot into a few days. We enjoyed it all-- enjoyed most of all spending time with a wonderful young man, our son.