Glimmers and shadows

 I have to remember to count the good as well as the bad. I have to build on the good and resist the bad.

I had close to a breakdown yesterday.

I went to the dentist- They take my blood pressure with the wrist cuff, and it is always high. It was high this time too, so high that they took it again and it was lower but still high. 

When I go to my regular doctor, she doesn't get worried, she says the wrist cuffs are inaccurate and so are the arm cuffs, in her opinion. She takes my blood pressure with her wrist watch and fingers after I calm down, and then it's good.

I may need to schedule an appointment with her though to check in.

That put me in a mood, though, so I didn't get as much done as I wanted and sort of crashed on my bed for a while. 

Then I had a long phone call from my cousin, with challenging news from her end of the world. Her granddaughter's adoption is likely to fall through, and I think my cousin was hoping I would volunteer to adopt the child. 

I cannot. I simply cannot. 

Then I saw numerous postings about Nazis- actual Nazis- protesting outside a production of Diary of Anne Frank only a few communities away from me.

Nazis.

Shift to noting some good.

My brother, his wife, my sister, her sons and one of their wives all came over to my house on Sunday and moved a lot of the big stuff out of my house so that I can sell or donate or give it away. This is stuff that I simply couldn't move myself: two heavy couches, a ping pong table, heavy oak end tables. It feels like progress.

They also took various items that they could use and enjoy, which also lightens the load.

On another day, moving furniture around, I had to disassemble my internet/tv set up- and I reassembled it again and it all works!

I found a remote control that has been missing for a year.

I have friends coming this afternoon to help with some of the cleaning/ packing.

I've made progress in grading my students' work and should be caught up tonight.

Yesterday, I found out it was National Sundae Day in time to have a sundae.

I bought a house today

Today was the closing on my new house-soon-to-be home. I have a lot of downsizing to do in the next 30 days so that I can move in. 

I hope to have my current house ready to list in the next two weeks! I need all hands on deck- will be calling out to friends and family to help.

In another post, I will catalog all that needs to be done to get my current house ready for market. It's overwhelming- 35 years and the accumulated stuff of six people's lives. Yes, the kids have taken most of their things - but some remnants are uncovered as I dig through drawers and closets. 

More on that another time. 

I've just spent a bit of time organizing my planned budget for 2025. Some areas are just best-guess, other areas are fairly easy to predict.

As if anything is easy to predict.

Income and Expenses

My income will probably be a bit less. I'm working on ways to improve that. That is one of the areas that is getting my imagination going- what will give my life purpose, meaning- and income! If you follow my postings here, you know that I teach university classes online currently. I hope to continue doing that for a couple more years. If it stays a good fit. Still, I'd like to expand my options.

My sister thinks we should do a podcast. We share a passion for saving the planet while being more frugal. She is a reseller of vintage fashions that she finds at thrift shops and yard sales. I am a researcher of sustainably packaged and responsibly produced goods: for instance, right now I'm using a subscription for Dropps * for my laundry and dishwasher soap, and Who Gives a Crap * for my TP and paper towels and tissues.

Some of my friends and family sell their plasma. This includes some who are full time teachers in public schools. 

They need the money.

Some other friends and family work online teaching English as a second language to students all around the world. They seem to enjoy it, and as something supplemental I might like that.

I've enjoyed selling some of the jewelry and other items that I've inherited, usually using eBay. I don't know if I'm ready to intentionally buy things to then resell. Maybe. We'll see.

I would like to do more writing than just this blog. Having a professional writer in the family, though, I know that writing is no easy meal ticket!

What other things might you imagine me (or you!) doing that would bring a sense of purpose, some enjoyment, and a bit of cash?

For my expenses, I'm trying to downsize those as much as I can as I try to increase my income. 

My monthly house expense (mortgage/HOA) will go down. So will my annual homeowners insurance.

My property taxes will go up.

My use of gas should go down, although I don't know how much of a savings that will be, since as my miles driven go down, the price of gas goes up. Still, I believe that living in a city within walking distance of several attractions and with an accessible bus route means that I will save some money in the near term.

I'm hoping my energy costs in general will go down with a smaller house. Again, it's hard to predict. I'm good at being frugal already.

The other part of this planning is planning ahead. When will I need a new computer? A new phone? A new car? What personal care should I look into- regular massage, or a hair styling once in a while?

Who shall I become? Looking at concrete items and specific numbers is helping me to look for a future me.

*Product placement links for your curiosity- no remuneration to me!

Dark day Nov 6 2024

 I am not doing well. I am heart sick, and nauseous. 

I am going to allow myself to feel these feelings.

I am going to drink coffee, and take care of my physical self.

I will keep on working for justice, for peace, and for the health of the planet. 

Even if I am discouraged and disheartened, I will keep moving. 

What other choice is there? 

So I will keep my appointments, grade my papers, check in with those I love.

One day at a time.