strange sightings at the food store.

On a trip through the grocery store in Mississippi, I saw a number of items that were on sale-- that really shouldn't be-- I mean really, at a grocery store?

Patio furniture. Seriously? I can put this in my cart? How do I fit this in my reusable grocery bag?

Then we saw a sofa-bed.

A framed "art" piece of a football player.

I resisted, but have now come to accept, the cookware and Cusinarts, the dishes, dish towels and dishpans. OK, they aren't food, but they are involved in the preparing and serving of food.

I have gotten used to the convenience of toiletries, toilet paper and toilet cleaner being in the store so that I can pick them up while I shop.

But firewood?

End tables (stacking!only $12.99 each with your savings club card!)?

It isn't just Mississippi: these same grocery store gaffs are in Michigan, too.

What I want to underscore here is: this is NOT at the Super-store that tries to be-it-all. This is at the FOOD STORE.

What next? Cars? Computers?

Saturdays

I don't have as many emails, usually, on a Saturday, as so much of the email activity comes from my Jewish women's email list, and many are observing Shabbat, in part by staying away from the computers.

I wonder how working computers qualifies halachically as work? Is maniupulating the electricity making fire?

egotistic quote of the day

I never succumb to peer pressure, because I am without peer.

Mississippi

My daughter lives in Mississippi; I live in Michigan. I have visited her a number of times over the past several years. She has also visited the ol' homestead a number of times...

Probably 90% of my visits to her have been in the summertime. About 90% of her visits to Michigan have been in the cold-weather seasons.

Go figure.

the sh* word

Today I feel that the sh* word is "SHOULD"

As in: I should be doing, I should have said....

For I should be
writing a play that is to be produced in October
writing a syllabus for a class I start teaching in a month
outlining my book(s)
outlining my article(s)
reviewing the text for the class I will be teaching
walking
exercising...

Instead I am sitting and sipping and surfing...

what am I supposed to do?

I am having another of those moments of existential angst.

Or, another series.

I have founded two youth theater groups. Both are still active-- the younger one, for older kids, about to celebrate its tenth anniversary is quite active, the older one, for younger (and older) kids, is about to celebrate its eighteenth anniversary. The older one (for younger kids) has been less active in recent years, while the younger one (for older kids) has been quite active.

None of my own biological children has been in a show in a number of years now.

So why am I still doing it?

I'm not getting paid-- I get an occasional stipend, which would not even cover mileage (if I were to charge mileage).

I believe in the power of young people as artists. I believe in the power of theater to transform lives.

But my faith is being challenged lately.

Since the "poisonous comedy" referenced in 2008, I have had more challenges in the culture of the organizations I have founded. Parents objecting to the material (well, if you don't think your 12 year old should be exposed to Shakespeare, so be it-- take 'em out!).

Young people treating the group as a social club -- to the point that the artistic endeavor suffers.

And young persons and older persons disrespecting me, the material and the process.

This is not what I signed on for.

At the same time, I will find -- in the same production-- that theater, my directing, Shakespeare-- some combination of these-- has changed a young person's life for the better.

All at the same time.

The tentative plan I have now is: meet with the core group of teens. Tell them how much I have been hurt. Tell them how much I believe. Ask them to join me with whole hearts.

Or leave. Leave now. Create your own group!

Or-- I could retire.

2010 could be a watershed year. Either re-invent ourselves. Or make our exits gracefully.

one month

One month later, I am disappointed and determined.

For the first three weeks I was absolutely on track with my plan.

I took my cleansing products.

I drank 8 glasses of water- minimum- per day.

I walked 10,000 steps- minimum- per day- of which total, at least 30 minutes each day was continuous walking.

I ate a modest breakfast, modest lunch, modest dinner. Dinner was finished by 7:00 pm most days.

And by the end of 3 weeks, I had lost 1 pound, and 1 inch from my waist.


In this past week, I have walked about 10,000 steps a day- but most days I have missed the 30 minutes of continuous walking.

I am taking the cleansing products - I missed 2 days when I was out of town.

I am still drinking 8 glasses of water a day.

Aiming for those 3 modest meals, but I have had a later supper or two and I had cake for my birthday, and a late night chocolate snack--

And I still remain at 1 pound lower than my starting weight and one inch off my waist.

I am disappointed, but still determined.

I will aim to get back on the walking track, back to the modest meals.

I so want this to work! Because this is something that I can keep up! But what if it's not enough? I can't yo-yo with my weight anymore!